Grease Us Twice and Going Offline: The History of Euphemisms

By Ralph Keyes

Bears are scary animals. They are so scary that early northern Europeans referred to them by substitute names for fear that mentioning their actual name might summon these ferocious beings. Instead they talked of the honey eater, the licker, or the grandfather. Bear itself evolved from a euphemistic term that meant “the brown one.” It is the oldest known euphemism, first recorded a thousand years ago.

Such substitute words provided a safe vehicle for talking about frightening, taboo, or sacred topics. They still do. We all rely on euphemisms to tiptoe around what makes us uneasy and have for most of recorded history.

Nearly a century ago a University of California linguist collected hundreds of euphemistic American exclamations. Some showed remarkable ingenuity. Jesus Christ became Jeans Rice, grease us twice, or holy Swiss cheese. “Christ” alone inspired cripes, crikey, and Christopher Columbus.

A good way to determine what concerned human beings at any given moment is to examine their verbal evasions. When fear of blasphemy reigned, we converted damn to darn, and hell to heck (or h-e-double-hockey-sticks north of the border). Then prudery kicked in as the gonads became family jewels, the vagina down there, and underpants unmentionables. Today we may feel free to say damn! and to call underpants underpants, but death, disability, and discrimination are another matter as we grope for inoffensive names to give members of minority groups, those with special needs, and ones who have bought the farm or gone offline.

About the author: Ralph Keyes is the author of fifteen books, including Chancing It, The Courage to Write, and Is There Life After High School? He has been featured on NPR’s All Things Considered, Fresh Air, and Talk of the Nation, as well as on Oprah, the Today show, The Tonight Show, ABC World News Tonight, and 20/20. He has written for numerous publications, including GQ and Good Housekeeping. A trustee of the Antioch Writers’ Workshop, he lives in Yellow Springs, Ohio.

Euphemania: Our Love Affair with Euphemisms

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  • Heather

    would love this book, particularly since my 6 year old started making up his own euphemisms as a trick for secret swearing. His latest is “holy health”

  • Kitten With A Whiplash

    Hope this isn’t a dupe but the comment I left a few hours ago hasn’t shown up so… My favorite euphenism is “differently abled” which has come to be used as a Politically Correct term for “handicapped”. What I love about it is that if you think about it, everone in the human race is “differently abled” whether through physical characteristics, intelligence or just our choices of what we choose to be able to do and do well.

  • http://febrilemuse-infectious-disease.blogspot.com Cindy–CM Doran

    Great book, it sounds. I want to read it to see what he may have said about infectious diseases….very interesting.

  • http://tristanrobin.blogspot.com Tristan Robin

    What a terrific preview – I’d love to read the whole book – thanks for the opportunity.

  • Carol Wong

    My father was very adept at using euphemisms when he hit his thunb instead of the nail. I would love to learn more about them. This sounds like a great way to learn more about our language.

    CarolNWong(at)aol(dot)com

  • http://exilebibliophile.blogspot.com Benjamin L Clark

    I always thought “Cheese and Rice” a creative one. A favorite of my grandfather’s: Egad! I’d love a copy of this.

  • Alison

    Joey Buckets and Good Grief Miss Agnes this would be a fun book to read!

  • http://pasadenadailyphoto.blogspot.com/ Petrea Burchard

    I always liked the Shakespearean “Zounds!” for “God’s wounds.” There are too many good ones to list–well, for me, anyway. But they’re probably all in the book. What a great topic to research and write about.

  • Betsy

    Enter me, please! I love euphemisms and all things linguistic!

  • Susan B.

    My mom was also an “Egads” fan. I love reading about the etiology of language and will look for this book if I don’t win a copy!

  • http://www.tarotbyarwen.com Arwen

    I’m a euphemistic fool. :) “Lord Love A Duck” and “freaking” are two of my current faves. :) I’d love this book.

  • http://www.ericjackson.com Eric Jackson

    Sounds like a fascinating book and I look forward to reading it.

  • Kristin A. Rossi

    Language creates us!

  • Carol

    Love euphemisms! The wordplays are the fun in communication! Would love to read this one!

  • Fran Kirby

    I thought there were only a few…now I am interested in reading this book and finding out about all the other ones…
    Thanks for the chance!

  • Cathie

    I’d love to be entered. Thank you!

  • Amy

    I heard Ralph Keyes speaking about this book on NPR a week or so ago. I would love to be entered. Thank you!

  • http://www.etsy.com/shop/ilovetrash?view_type=gallery BrontoOnPluto

    H-e-double-toothpicks, i thought i invented Christ on a Cracker but i’ve heard it elsewhere. This leaves me to ponder whether it was semi-simultaneously generated, i had originally heard it elsewhere & forgot about it, or whether i created a meme & this inadvertently {in the way of all memes, more rather than less}. OTOH, what Christ on a Cracker actually is, wordwise, i do not know–it seems like more the red headed stepchild of a euphemism rather than a euphemism itself.

    Then again, have used Lord Love a Duck since my mother used it years later from the initial years when it was probably contemporary. Sliding time is something of which i am perpetually fond.

  • BrontoOnPluto

    pardon, i forgot to tell you to enter me. euphemistically, of course. i mean, non-euphemistically. there, that makes sense.

  • Michelle

    I always mess up euphemisms! This would be a great one for me.

  • http://shevralay.wordpress.com Emily

    The cover design on that book is great! This book looks really interesting.

  • Lavonda Robinette

    This book looks fantastic!

  • Jennifer Hunsicker

    I love words! I enjoy reading about their origin. This books sounds like a great read. Thanks for offering this!

  • http://pasadenadailyphoto.blogspot.com/ Petrea Burchard

    I heard Mr. Keyes on my local NPR station today (KPCC) and he was interesting and funny. If he writes as well as he speaks, this will be a terrific read.

  • librarypat

    I hadn’t known the origin of some of the words you listed above. Never knew crikey and cripes were related. Language and words are much more interesting than one would have thought.
    J K Rowling’s use of “he who must not be named” certainly fits nicely with your examples.
    I am curious to see what other examples you have.